and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
