i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
