He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
