How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Randomize