Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
