one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You pole danced in your parka.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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