i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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