HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
