Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
