This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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