my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
