Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
