What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
