They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
