He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
