On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
her vagine was all disorganized.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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