Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
