New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
