i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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