Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
