Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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