I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
