when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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