You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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