Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
