I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
