How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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