Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
