Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
