i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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