haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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