blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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