What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
