idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
