real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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