why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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