Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
There's even glitter on my cock...
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