That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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