Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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