i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
