the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
