just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
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