i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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