I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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