i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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