I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
