WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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