is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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