There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
