i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
