why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
